Fearless- Little Mix Fanfiction
Okay so I”m soooo sorry I didn’t update today or yesterday but I was helping out at a charity event all weekend :p Sorry this chapter is kinda short but I haven’t had much time to write tonight :( Anyway I’m sorry again, here’s chapter 18 :)) hope you like it and feedback appreciated as always :* thanks :))
This chapter is named after the Passenger song ;)
CHAPTER 18- Let Her Go
It was a week later and the tour was resuming. Things were going well for me- I hadn’t thought too much about what had happened and I wanted it to stay that way. I still felt uncomfortable around men, but I wasn’t surprised. I could tell it was going to take me a while to get over that hurdle. I brought Perrie everywhere I went; she was the only person I felt completely safe around. She was the one who had saved me, after all.
Along with Sam. Speaking of him, I hadn’t heard from him since our fight. I’d tried ringing him a few times and I also texted him but he never replied. I was shocked at how badly he took everything- I thought he would have understood and given me time to readjust. But my assumptions were proved wrong, badly wrong. But I still loved him; you couldn’t just drop your feelings for someone after over a year, no matter how messed up you, are but I was really annoyed at how so cold he was being with me.
I managed to contain my frustration in time for our next show, which was in Edinburgh. We were all excited to get back out there and put on a show again. I’d receive so much support from the fans and other celebrities, which gave me so much confidence and a will to do them proud onstage in return. An added incentive to perform well was to show everyone that I wasn’t as ‘emotionally unstable’ and ‘messed up’ as the papers lead everyone to believe I was. I wanted to prove them wrong.
The show went amazing as usual, and being out onstage again really lifted my spirits. I loved being out there so much and was delighted to get back to the tour again after an untimely stoppage. We bounced offstage, delighted with our performance and engaged in a huge group hug. I wiggled myself out of it to find someone I would have never expected to see there standing in front of me.
It was none other than Sam. He was stood nervously, clutching the back of his neck.
“I know I’m probably the last person you want to see right now” he explained, “But I think we both know we need to talk”.
I felt a bit apprehensive, but I didn’t really have a choice on the matter. Like he said, we both knew we needed to sort things out.
“Fine” I agreed, “Let’s go to the dressing room.” I glanced behind me at Perrie and motioned for her to follow me. She followed immediately.
Once we reached the dressing room I walked in, expecting Perrie to follow, but she didn’t. I looked at her questioningly.
“You need to sort this out privately” she declared, “I’ll be right outside the door if you need me, baba” she added a smile at the last part and gently rubbed my shoulder.
I nodded my head slowly and hesitantly returned to the room, shutting the door behind me. This was it. I had to explain everything.
“Listen Sam,” I started, feeling a lump form in my throat already, “The reason I acted like I did that night was because…. I just felt so uncomfortable. I just can’t fully trust you anymore. And it’s not just you, it’s any man, ever since what happened….” My voice trailed off, almost frightened to carry on.
He nodded his head, “I know, Jade. It took me a while to understand. I’m not surprised either, you’ve been through so much in the past year and I realised how inconsiderate I was that night. I’m so sorry, Jade, I really am. I over-reacted and the reason I did was because I love you, so much.
“I couldn’t stand the thought of not being able to touch you or hold you or kiss you. I’ve been trying to build up the courage all week to tell you this. I was just so embarrassed at how I reacted. And, if you’re willing to forgive me, I promise to be more thoughtful. ”
I took a while to process everything he had said and tried to ignore the tears that trickled down my cheeks. I looked at Sam, he seemed so upset, his voice wavered as he spoke and it looked as if tears were threatening to escape from his own eyes.
“Sam” I croaked, “I love you so much, I really do. But I need more time. More time to sort myself out and regain trust in men again. Please understand it’s nothing you’ve done wrong, it’s just me. I think it’s best if we take a break and, when I’m ready, you’ll be the first man I’ll engage with. I promise you”
I watched as the tears finally broke free from his eyes and he slowly nodded his head. “Okay” he balked, “Whatever you need, Jade”
I smiled weakly at him. It killed me to see him upset, but there was nothing I could do. This was for the best, for both of us. I couldn’t stay with him and drag him back, that would be unfair of me.
“I love you, Jade” he reiterated. The lump swelled up in my throat even more and I felt sick to the stomach. I ran over to him, and, to my surprise, hugged him tight. “I love you, Sam. Take care of yourself, ya hear?” I smiled. He stroked my face gently. He replied with a barely audible “Yeah” and hugged me once more before apprehensively leaving the room, allowing me to take in what had just happened.
I had basically broken up with Sam, my boyfriend for over a year. My stomach churned distastefully and the tears kept flowing. I wanted the ground to swallow me up. Perrie walked in, and, seeing me in the state I was in, swiftly ran to me, wrapped her arms around me and held me tight. I cried into her shoulder.
“It’s alright, baba” she assured me, “It’s for the best”. She raised my head from her shoulder and held it before her. “Now” she said as she rubbed the tears from my face with her sleeve, “Stop your crying. I’ve got something to cheer you up” she smiled.
I watched as Jade’s face lit up at the mention of my surprise. She had been through so much lately and I really wanted to treat her, I couldn’t stand seeing her so vulnerable. I had booked the surprise the day before, after checking with John, and had planned to tell her sometime this week. And after the encounter she’d just experienced, I decided just then was the perfect opportunity.
“What is it?” she sniffled.
I tapped my nose and grabbed her hand, “You’ll see”. I lead her to the tour bus and sat her down on her bed, which was opposite mine.
“Close your eyes” I said.
She looked at me, half-smiling but with a hint of nerves. She wasn’t great with surprises. She apprehensively did as I said and covered her eyes with the palms of her hand.
“No peeking!” I winked before turning to my luggage bag which lay on my bed. I rooted through it and pulled out the papers.
“Okay” I announced, “Open your eyes” I handed her the papers. She glanced at me, confused. I studied her face intently as she looked at the papers. I watched as her eyes grew wide in shock.
“Perrie!” she screamed excitedly.
“You, me and Disneyland Florida. We go after the tour is finished” I smiled. She jumped up and down on the spot. She acted like a five-year old girl on Christmas morning. I laughed in delight, I was so happy that she liked it.
“I’ve always wanted to go!” she exclaimed.
“It’s way better than Paris, I hear” I winked at her, considering she’d only gone there a few months beforehand.
“I don’t know how I can thank you for this” she beamed. I laughed sub-consciously; I could think of a few ways.
She jumped in to my arms and squeezed me. “Thank you so much, Pez” A smile was plastered over her delicate features. It was also infectious.
“No need to thank me” I grinned, “You deserve it”. She beamed at me and shook her head. “You’re too good to me, baba”.
For once I disagreed with her, it was the least I could do after all she’d faced. It wasn’t a scam to get us alone together, I just wanted her to relax and enjoy herself again, enjoy life. As far as I was concerned, if she developed feelings for me while we were away (which was a long shot in itself), it would be a bonus.